Sunday Snippets
By Venkatesh Raghavan
It was just ten minutes past five in the evening when I chose to venture into the Irani café adjoining our local traffic island. I and Amir were seated face to face and the waiter went scurrying to get me my evening cup of green tea with scrambled eggs. Amir was sipping Irani chai from a glass bowl. Our conversation went somewhat like this.
Me: I have decided to change my profession for good. It’s a very exciting thought that struck me late last night before retiring to bed.
Amir: You are post-retirement and have had a full stay in the journalistic field. What on earth looks exciting to you after such a long adventurous stint? It makes me feel curious.
Me: I have decided to become a full-time gau rakshak. I learnt that it was not only exciting but also pretty lucrative.
Amir: Your decision is inexplicable. What on earth do you mean by calling it lucrative?
Me: Have you heard of crowdfunding? There are a lot of people who feel inclined to contribute to a cause and you raise funds in favour of your pet project or goal?
Amir: What does that have to do with your being a gau rakshak?
Me: I will raise funds from the NRI crowds that love offering protection and shelter to aged cows that no longer find farm use. As the foreign funds keep flowing in, I will also be able to market cow dung and cow urine as protection against nuclear disasters by packaging them in an attractive manner.
Amir: Giving lip service is an altogether different ball game. Do you think the NRIs are dumb enough to part with money for your espoused cause?
Me: It has nothing to do with dumbness Amir. You just have to tell the NRI that the money you donate for the upkeep of shelters catering to aged cows will get rolled back to you with interest after we generate enough revenue from cow dung and urine sales. You are invited to proactively participate in the marketing at your respective locations.
Amir: It’s almost like how the Godmen in our country operate. They have no capital. They have no tax liabilities and they have no need to bother about things like working capital or for that matter return on interest. But don’t you feel it will be more lucrative to become a godman instead?
Me: The trouble with Indian manufacturers, especially the younger lot is they all want to tread on a trusted path and that results in immense competition. They need to think out of the box and come out with new ideas and new solutions for the new age economy. Once I begin a full-fledged cow shelter outfit, I am sure competition will mushroom in this arena.
Amir: Why on earth do you want to launch into this profession, when you are already aware that you will soon be facing competition?
Me: Amir, you again fail to think out of the box. Whenever you plan a business venture, the first thing you should think of is the exit route. Before setting up my full-fledged cow shelter, I will be ready with an exit route once it attracts enough competition.
