Sunday Snippets
By Venkatesh Raghavan
Away from the poll fever of Uttar Pradesh, I entered the Irani restaurant around the afternoon hours in far-off largely South Indian locality of Mumbai. Amir, my Parsi host, was seated in the corner chair. I joined him in conversation, after accepting the chicken sandwich that was mixed with Mayonnaise sauce. He was quizzing me about what was likely to be the result of the forthcoming Uttar Pradesh (UP) elections. Obviously Yogi and Lucknowi biryani are the topic of discussion on every dining table today. Our conversation went somewhat like this.
Amir: Do you feel that BJP is losing ground under Chief Minister Yogi’s stewardship in the state?
Me: Looking at his track records I am not very sure of what to say.
Amir: What do you mean by track records? This is first term as chief minister of UP.
Me: You are right Amir. However, he was five-time MP from Gorakhpur. I wonder if he could gather the crowds so that he turns out to become a five-time Chief Minister of UP.
Amir: You mean to say, the state will be undergoing a marathon esoteric experience?
Me: Amir, the state will get two decades of time to construct the world’s most coveted Ram temple in Ayodhya. It will require a good mix of skilled and unskilled labourers from around the state. With a dedicated team working for the Ram temple, as was Emperor Shah Jahan’s endeavour for the Taj Mahal, the state will throw up a lot of ancillary industries like fruit vendors, flower vendors, palmists, astrologers, tourist guides, lodging and boarding houses besides massage parlours for those tiring long hours in the sun.
Amir: You seem blissfully unmindful of what travails the minority community is facing in the state ever since Yogi has taken over its reins. Besides, media reports do point out that a high number of BJP MLAs are quitting the party even prior to the announcement of the poll dates. What exactly do you make of this?
Me: You know the latest rumours that are doing the rounds in political circles? They say that Yogiji is getting mentored by Rahul Gandhi and this might well turn the tide in his favour.
Amir: What nonsense? The two are poles apart. Where is there any scope for mentoring?
Me: Rahul has put up the mother of a victimized girl as a candidate for the UP polls. Taking cue, Yogi may field a huge number of Muslim candidates in the poll fray. It’s a win-win situation. While Yogi gets to retain his crown, the minority community will get adequate representation in the Assembly.
Amir: At times I wonder whether you are sane in your thought chains. Do you understand that the other political parties in the fray might automatically react to nullify the situation in the event of such a move?
Me: Do you remember the slogan of a popular washing powder brand “Daag? Dundte reh jaoge?” (What stain? You will be left searching for it without any success.) Well, that happens to be the Unique Selling Proposition (USP) of the BJP when it comes to anyone being pressed with criminal charges against him or her.
Amir: Wow. What a way to produce a stainless government for two decades! Hail our politicians!
Also read: Sunday Snippets: What makes flutters in Bollywood news?
