Trivia
By Venkatesh Raghavan
I was waiting for my cup of Irani chai (black tea with lemon crush) at the corner table. Amir as usual had lost himself in the morning papers. He suddenly looked up and asked me what do you make out of this news about a Muslim converting to Hinduism that has gone viral on social media platforms? I just shrugged my shoulders and gave a smile. Our conversation went somewhat like this.
Amir: There are a stream of WhatsApp messages centered on this. Facebook too is full of comments on this incident. I don’t know what to make of it. It was full about Waseem Rizvi, a Shia leader in Uttar Pradesh converting to the Hindu fold.
Me: When a dog bites man it’s not news. However, when a man bites dog, it becomes news.
Amir: You mean to say converting to Hinduism from any other religion is like man biting a dog?
Me: Not at all Amir. I am only referring to the frequency at which such things happen. Besides, Rizvi has been given the option of what caste he would like to adhere to. That’s a great revolutionary move on part of the Hindus.
Amir: What on earth has this to do with a revolution? You make no sense.
Me: Look Amir, it’s just an idea that hit me, when I read about the news. All the Dalits and lower castes in India should first get converted to Christianity or Islam as per their choice. Next, they should allow for a year or two to pass before they opt to re-convert to Hinduism. When they reconvert, they will have the choice of whichever caste they want to suit their palate.
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Amir: Where is all this going to lead to? Do you think the saffron brigade would approve of such a hairbrained scheme?
Me: The saffron elements on the contrary should be delighted with this. For one thing, all Dalits and lower castes would have climbed the ladder turning themselves into Rajputs or Thakurs or say Iyengars in the south for that matter. Once this happens, there would be no requirement for any caste-based reservations, be it for jobs or education. This would enable them to achieve their goal of abolishing reservations.
Amir: Do you think such mass conversions in both directions would go unnoticed by global forces that fund our country’s minority religions? In fact, it would turn into an international scandal of sorts when such conversions get reported.
Me: Do you remember the joke about Napoleon visiting India and saying, “Given your media, no one would have ever known that I lost the battle of Waterloo? We can rely on these foot soldiers of the ruling classes to ensure that these conversions are kept shrouded in secrecy.
Amir: You are overlooking the orthodoxy factor that might come in the way of such a move involving conversions and reconversions.
Me: Amir, it’s a matter of time. Allow it to happen in a small way. After watching the results, more and more will clamour to participate in the process. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see around you.”
