Sunday Special
By Archana Dutta*
Aren’t we all elated at the news of Ricky Kej winning the second Grammy? Yes, we are! Ricky won his first Grammy in 2015, along with the South African flautist Wouter Kellerman, for the album, ‘Winds of Samsara‘, a tribute to Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela, the two icons from their respective countries. This time, it was for his piece, ‘Divine Tides‘, a paean for humanity’s peaceful co-existence, with his childhood idol, the legendary drummer, Stewart Copeland.
Well! As we bask in the reflected glory of Ricky’s accomplishments, let’s introspect how many of us would have allowed our children to tread on an unconventional path and choose music as a full-fledged career, and not a pastime. Perhaps, not many! Ricky, hailing from a family of doctors from his father’s side, is indeed, a trend-setter and an inspiring hero for many budding talents.
In the year 2009, the film ‘Three Idiots’ was a huge success in India, which laid bare the typical societal quandary about parental pressure vis a vis children’s hidden desires. In India, a recent survey conducted by an online career-counselling platform revealed that the majority of Indian students (14-21 years) are just aware of not more than seven career paths, even though, there are as many as 250 career options available in India, mostly new and in-demand. But, Indian parents are still obsessed with subjects/ courses in STEM, as they are considered to be important stepping stones to succeed in life and in ‘securing a financially sound career’. Arts is regarded as a ‘poor cousin’ of science subjects.
Also read: Two Indians Falguni and Ricky in Grammy winners list
Career counselling, though, is in place in many reputed schools. Yet, the overwhelming feelings of the counsellors are that ‘parents, by and large, aren’t sensitive to their wards’ natural skills’. While, psychologists express concern that ‘the parental compulsion and high expectations usually fall heavy on impressionable minds with disastrous consequences, often leading to cases of anxiety, unhappiness and depression. According to WHO, one in every four children between the age group of 13 and 15 in India are depressed. While, as per the National Crime Records Bureau data, 10,159 students died by suicide in 2018, an increase from 9,905 in 2017, and in 2019, there was a further spike of 3.4 per cent in suicide rates. There is also a rise in the instances of bipolar and disruptive behaviour disorders, which, subsequently, take a severe toll on children’s confidence and approach to life.
Let us wonder what would have happened to Ricky if his family didn’t stand by him?
To recall my personal experiences, way back around 2000, I had the occasion to interact with Ricky’s father Dr Gyan Kej, a practising doctor in the Indiranagar area of Bangalore. At that point in time, like many other civil servant couples, I was posted in Bangalore, when, my husband was shifted out from Bangalore to Delhi. It was a crucial period of our children’s education, and I opted for continuing in the city for sake of their studies. Dr Kej’s amiable disposition encouraged me to discuss with him, personal problems, especially my son’s education. I remember him mentioning his son’s love for Hindustani and Western classical music and a variety of musical instruments. I came to know that Ricky, did join a course in dentistry at a local college, but, soon, both, the parents and the ward, realised that his destiny lies elsewhere. The rest is known to all!
In the case of my son, Abhishek, with Dr Kej’s persuasion, I enrolled him in Bishop Cottons from the Cathedral school, as did Ricky some years back. My son’s literary bent of mind and flair for creative writing flourished in his alma mater. Soon, he was chosen as the school’s cultural secretary and brought many laurels to his personal account and also to the institution. At the end of his schooling, like any other middle-class parents, we aspired that he should opt for medicine, since, my daughter was already pursuing an engineering degree in a reputed college in Bangalore (UVCE). But, my son put his foot down, instead, he wanted to join his father in Delhi, and go for English literature. We didn’t block him off! Both, Dr Kej and the Principal of Bishop Cottons, Dr A Ebenezer, were also quite enthusiastic about the idea. Years later, we, as parents, again faced the same predicament, when, Abhishek refused to join the race for the UPSC, and wanted to choose academics as a career. Today, he is the recipient of two prestigious scholarships, Clarendon and Lincoln Kingsgate, Oxford University, and pursuing a D Phil in Lincoln’s college, after his second post-graduation at St. Anthony’s in Oxford.
Now, in this era of increasing integration and shared feelings of joy, sorrow, attainment and disappointment, shouldn’t we build the future of humanity on the strength of each child’s underlying potential. In the words of a poet, let each of them be the ‘authors of their own life’, capable of ‘writing a story of their strength’ and becoming ‘proud of their power’.
Top Photo of Ricky Kej: @rickykej|Twitter
*Archana Datta is a former Director-General, Doordarshan and All India Radio, and Former Press Secretary to the President of India. She also worked as the OSD to the Governor of Karnataka. She was a member of the Indian Federal Civil Services and also led both the information and broadcast wings of the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting of the Union Government at different levels.
