By Deepak Parvatiyar*
Gray ‘Leaders’ Fumble, Violence Rumbles!
Picture a dazzling digital stage, a global giggle-fest where the world wobbles like a jelly on a bouncy castle, thanks to a sprightly crew of silver-haired showmen—America’s Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu, and Iran’s Ali Hosseini Khamenei—prancing in their 70s and 80s, passing their quirky playbook to a peppy posse of younger apprentices.
These charismatic maestros, masters of the spotlight, fancy themselves rock stars, their grand gestures, flashy arms deals, and puffed-up charisma—draped in banners of “democracy,” “revolution,” or faith—turning them into circus ringmasters, spinning a whirlwind of squabbles, empty snack stashes, and a future teetering like a tipsy tightrope walker.
A cosmic stagehand, munching popcorn, mutters, “They juggle missiles like torches—hope they don’t drop one!” The young interns, like Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelenskyy and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, eager to steal the show, mimic their mentors’ wild twirls, waving the same chaotic script. Sensible voices? Lost in the din of dazzling egos, as power loves a loud ringmaster, not a quiet sage. They selectively learnt history’s violent chapters, and became stakeholders in violence, making the planet suffer with their acts of vengeance.
Also read: Middle East: Can Diplomacy End the Eternal Conflict?
Time to nudge these stars to a Margdarshak Mandal, India’s Narendra Modi’s clever sidestep, where party elders become “guides” with no stage but plenty of lassi and occasional popcorn. Modi, turning 75 in September 2025, might eye his own Mandal pass, but don’t bet on him dimming his spotlight—he’s smitten with the stage’s glow!
On this glitzy stage, Trump, 79, spins like a game-show host, tweeting boasts that rocket to the moon, launching $50 million in missiles to Ukraine while his peace flag flutters like a soggy streamer. Biden, 82, the former headliner, kicked off this circus with a 2021 Afghanistan fumble, gifting the Taliban $7 billion in U.S. equipment, and his 2022 Ukraine aid sparked a reaction from Russia’s Vladimir Putin. Putin, 72, slinks like a sly cat, tanks purring through Ukraine, yet croons a peace melody, slipping rockets to Yemen’s Houthis and Lebanon’s Hezbollah like secret candies (United Nations reports). China’s Xi Jinping, 72, beams like a drone-dealing showman, tossing tech treats to all, fueling Pakistan’s pokes at India’s borders. Pakistan’s Shehbaz Sharif, 73, hums a peace tune but winks at old pals behind 2025’s Pahalgam tragedy, where 26 stars dimmed, keeping the rhythm jittery. Netanyahu, 75, brings thunder to Gaza, where 56,500 lights have faded, and 2 million wander. ‘Supreme leader’ Khamenei, 86, backs Hamas’s rocket revelry, sighing as his nuclear dreams flicker. Bangladesh’s caretaker Muhammad Yunus, 85, sings unity but muffles bold voices. Myanmar’s Min Aung Hlaing, 68, swats rebels like pesky fireflies at a picnic.
The young apprentices, leaders brimming with zeal, twirl the same tattered script with flair. Zelenskyy, 47, pleads for props as his towns sway, channelling Trump’s stage swagger. Kim Jong-un, 41, giggles over nukes like a kid with lollipops, nodding to Putin’s sly moves. Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro, 61, pirouettes through empty markets, chanting “revolution” while serving air sandwiches, a fan of Xi’s epic yarns. The Taliban’s Mullah Hibatullah Akhundzada, mid-50s, shuts girls’ classrooms like a strict librarian, echoing Khamenei’s stern stare. Houthis and Hezbollah fling rockets like festival confetti, funded by Putin and Khamenei’s pocket change. Sharif’s nods to old tricks, learned from vintage ringmasters, keep Pakistan’s rhythm shaky, while his young army buddy, Asim Munir, 57, toasted Trump’s 2026 Nobel in June 2025 for cooling an India-Pakistan scuffle post-Pahalgam. Trump, basking in applause, tossed Munir a White House barbecue, giving Sharif a playful nudge—a cheeky wink at democracy’s dance, notes our stagehand, spilling popcorn and lassi.
Glastonbury’s gaffe? Pure circus capers! Trump’s team, on June 25, 2025, sidelined UK band Bob Vylan for a “rowdy” tune. Why? To puff up the show, mask Trump’s arms deals, and keep fans cheering while Gaza’s kids dodge pebbles and Ukraine’s youth sidestep booms. Putin smirks, “Banning bards while selling tanks? Bravo, Donald!” These ringmasters, young and old, spin a whirlwind—150,000 Gazans scatter, Ukraine’s homes crumble, Myanmar’s villages fade. Their $5 billion arms deals, from Trump’s missiles to Xi’s drones, keep the circus roaring, dodging accountability like nimble jugglers. The stagehand sighs, “They swap peace plans like trading cards at a comic con.” Subtle voices dim when power crowns the loudest showmen, wrapped in “noble” cloaks of faith or freedom, like old-school hawkers in glossier tents.
While these ringmasters juggle tanks and egos, the planet groans, still bruised from COVID-19’s wake-up call. The 2020 pandemic screamed “unite!” but these showmen, deaf to history, bicker over ideology, religion, cash, and democracy’s sequined cape. Our stagehand snorts, “They missed the memo—viruses don’t pick sides!” Markets crash, kids skip school, and forests choke as leaders trade barbs like clowns tossing pies. Families huddle on life’s tightrope, dodging rockets and empty fridges. The globe, a weary spectator, begs for a breather, but the circus roars on, leaving folks clinging to the edge of a wobbly stage.
This endless act—fueled by old grudges and shiny toys—keeps Earth spinning in chaos. History’s lessons, from plagues to wars, gather dust while leaders play “king of the hill.” The stagehand tosses popcorn, grumbling, “Ideology? Religion? Just props for their ego parade!” Civilians pay the ticket price—shattered homes, lost dreams, a planet wheezing under smoke and strife. Kids scroll war clips on phones, craving heroes, not ringmasters. Yet these showmen, blind to COVID’s nudge, keep the spotlight on their squabbles, leaving the crowd—us—teetering on a cliff, yearning for a saner show.
Should these “leaders” keep strutting? Their war-mad frames thrill egos but tax the planet, says our stagehand, spitting popcorn. “Their rerun’s old—time for a Mandal exit!” Cue the World Leader Talent Show, a grand finale of their quirks! Trump spins digital dazzle, charming screens with flair. Biden juggles diplomatic props with a grin. Putin directs grand chess moves with a wink. Xi unveils tech marvels like a showman. Modi paints vibrant visions for India’s stage. Netanyahu commands with fiery resolve; Khamenei backs bold displays. Sharif sings peace with a sly nod, Yunus hums unity, Min clears the floor. The apprentices? Zelenskyy seeks aid with passion, Kim shines with spark, Maduro dances with zeal. The stagehand chuckles, “Quite the cast—spinning dreams, not dramas!” Yet their acts, dazzling as they seem, keep the globe wobbling. Time for new performers to steady the stage with fresh flair, not old scripts.
Why not herd this troupe to a Margdarshak Mandal? Modi’s trick parked elders on an “advisory” bench—wise nods, no mic. Modi, 75 soon, clings to the stage’s dazzle. Picture ‘leaders’ such as Trump, Biden, Putin, Xi, Netanyahu, Khamenei, and their protégés sipping mango lassi, tossing “tips” as fresh faces leap in. The youngsters’ dramas, dances, rules, and shiny toys could spin fun stories, not spats. No more tanks, nukes, or band bans—just a new troupe with bold ideas for a world tired of circus giggles and their messy echoes. But wait! The stagehand spots the interns sneaking back, practising old moves in a secret rehearsal. This circus might steal an encore, and the globe’s still giggling!
Disclaimer: This playful satire, inspired by U.S. State Department briefings (May-June 2025), reports of Trump’s meeting with Asim Munir, and global events, pokes fun at leaders’ theatrics with a wink. It’s all in good jest, no offence intended!
*Senior journalist
