Mindgame
By Vandana Mathur, Ph.D*
Can we overcome the negativity bias of human mind?
It was a lazy Sunday morning and as I ate breakfast, I was on video call with my daughter who was preparing for bed and telling me about the -9 degrees and the snow that she encountered that day. Conversation steered to how long it’s been since we met or went on a holiday together. We were then reminiscing about our holidays in the past and for one she referred to as- “Isn’t this the one where the cow jumped into the pool?”
It was a weekend holiday she was referring to that we had taken when she was a little girl. This got me thinking. She obviously didn’t remember the stunning view of the Vashishti river and the mountain range in the backdrop, the boat ride that we took, the delectable food that was served, the in-house games that we enjoyed. None of this figured in the memory except the cow that jumped into the pool!
Also read: Let this be not just the beginning of the end of the academic year but of the pandemic as well!
This was surely not a part of the vivid imagination of a five-year-old. It did happen. As she was enjoying some splash time with her Dad in this beautiful outdoor pool in the gorgeous mountainous surroundings, from somewhere out of the blue, this little calf came running and fell into the pool! Its was surely a horrific sight and thankfully nothing untoward happened. From then on, whenever that 3-day wonderful holiday was thought of, only that 3 minute drama of the calf falling into the pool was talked about.
This got me thinking and as I dug deeper, I realised that this is the negativity bias that the human mind has. It is our tendency to not only register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on such events. We have a propensity to give more weightage to things that go wrong rather than to things that go right. We pick out things in the environment which are negative, bothersome and annoying. As humans we tend to recall traumatic experiences better than positive ones. We remember insults better than praise. So, if the human mind is wired like this, what is the way out?
We must be aware that our mind tends to lean towards and attends to the negative side of things and hijacking our thoughts and feelings in the process, which could impact our work, relationships and happiness too! So, it’s important to take some time, sit back and recognise the huge amount of good that is all around us which is actually simply going unnoticed. When something good happens, dwell in that moment and savour it. Focus on all the wonderful feelings it evokes. Practice gratitude. Being thankful for all the things and people we do have in our lives. Then we will surely experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, be more compassionate, be kinder and even have a stronger immune system.
So, beware of your own ‘cow jumped into the pool’ moments!
*Certified Parenting Counsellor and Consulting Nutritionist
Wonderful write up
Thank you !
Good, thought provoking Reminder!
If only, each of us were to jot down the +es & -es, we would be grinning from ear to ear!
But we don’t & hence our tears & complaints.
True, thanks !
Incisive and thought provoking article.
Reminds me of William Wordsworth who was a pioneer of writing beautiful Nature Poetry with thoughts recollected in tranquility. He would recall joyous euphoric experiences from his long walking tours, and sitting in his small room in the midst of a noisy smoky London, he produced awe inspiring poems by re-living the moments of elation and delight.
Yes Dr Vandana Mathur, thanks for reminding and nudging us towards a more positive response to Life!
True, thank you !
Beautifully written.. kind of an eye opener 😊
We all need this reminder ! Thanks !
Fabulous! It touches upon the ‘Negativity bias’ Your real-life anecdote is a perfect example, Doc.
Thanks !
Very well written~~~~
Thoughtful indeed!!!!@
Thank you!
Wonderful Read. How simply you have put the oft thoughts .. negative so that take a front seat always. Yes they should not be the driver.
Yes gratitude, compassion and kindness to not jump with the ‘cow in the pool’.
Inspiring evening read.
😇🍀☘🕯
Thank you!
Deep insight around a casual happening.
Our choice of friends partners and products are based on negative bias trapping us in a cycle of happiness and grief.
How true! We often forget the good and dwell on the negative experiences in life…I guess it comes from a sense of entitlement as though the unpleasant phases have no place in our existence… gratitude should be the attitude. Very thought-provoking article, Vandy.
Yes dear, thanks!
Anecdotal write ✍️ up lends more credibility to this article. Whatever we remember good or bad out of an event in life is directly proportionate to sudden impact of pleasant ones, that too we forget in expectation of even better one next time. But negative or unpleasant ones depends on traumatic effect on us & on a tender mind it has jackhammer effect for few moments longer that’s the reason unpleasant experience comes to mind first. On the whole very good 😌 write ✍️ ⬆️
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Hey diddle diddle
Let us remember
the Cow jumped over the moon
Moments😍
Thanks !!
What a beautiful write up. It calls upon us to be positive in our thought process. It’s a matter of practise and We can sure change the way we think, interact and age in the process. A life-changing thought indeed.
Thank you so much!
Indeed…..well written and versed…..you r one who practices wot you preach !!! Gratitude, Love and the Art of Living lives within you
Thanks!